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Batshua's Journal

בתשוע

Name:
Batshua


I currently moderate all_disability, anthropology, asexuality, hillel, shomer, solo_cooking, torahdiscussion, ways_we_pray, and weirdjews. I am not omnipresent. If you belong to one of these communities and you notice a problem, please drop me an LJ message, and I'll deal with it as soon as I can.

Okay, if you're new to my LJ, before you decide whether or not to read any of the crap below, please read this first. Please, please, please, do not make me make a post like that about you. Thanks.

Also, my friending policy is more clearly delineated here.

I'm me, Batshua. I don't really know what else I should be putting here, because I don't really know who I am anymore. Maybe someday I'll know, and if I can, I will reclaim my identity.

Here's what I can tell you about me. I'm Jewish and chronically ill and a thousand other things, but those two things shape my personality more than anything else. I'm asexual, so this whole dating thing is just something that doesn't really work for me. So let's get this straight. No, I do not need to be saved. No, I will not be getting well soon. No, that does not make me a pessimist; it makes me a realist. No, I will not go out with you and no, it's not that I just haven't found the right guy/girl/amoeba yet. You aren't going to change my mind on any of these things, and you're not the first to think you can. Just accept and respect me as I am. This is just the way things are. Onto the fluff that one's infopage must have due to sheer egotism…

As you might have noticed, a large portion of my life revolves around my health. That's part of what having a chronic illness does to you. Because it was just too damned long, I've moved the summary of my involvement in LJ communities and health issues to an LJ post. For the truly bored, details on the saga of my health can be found here.

I've been angsty the past seven years. I've been ill the past seven years. I'm tired of it. None of of this is a bid for sympathy. It's just how things are. I was a very happy child before I got sick, and some days you might see that childish, goofy, and happy side of me show up in the journal. Some days you might see an angry, depressed, or otherwise negative ranting-type entry. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is my journal. I post publicly so people will know what's going on. That doesn't mean I necessarily demand comfort every time I post something sad. I'm doing my best *not* to be an attention whore with regard to my health or emotional state. What I really *would* appreciate would be an IM or an email if someone thinks I'm actually really truly doing awful. Sometimes I whine about not getting comments. I only mention that in reference to a relatively normal post, not an emotionally charged one. Comments let me know that people are reading and that someone might actually care about my life besides myself. If you think I'm being a drama queen, don't indulge me.

Other things to know about me: I make some friendslocked posts. Occasionally you may ask and get access to some of them. Others I may not permit you access to no matter what. I'm not holding some personal, deep-seated grudge against you if I say no. It probably means I'm not comfortable, for whatever reason, with you seeing that particular content. I don't autofriend people just because they friend me. That does not mean you should consider yourself unwelcome. I may unfriend you at any time. It does not mean I think you're uncool or I'm angry at you or I hate you. It probably means my friends page is getting too long. At present, I read or skim about 300 LJ entries a day. Also, if you randomly surf on here from some place and I don't know you, please say how you found me when you comment, because otherwise it sort of feels like I just walked into my house to find a stranger in my living room as opposed to waiting on the front porch. Hopefully that metaphor made some kind of sense…

If after reading all of this, you're still trying to figure out who I am, you can read my postings on identity.

I've been learning tarot and I am doing free readings to give myself practice. Send me a message if you're interested.

I don't expect anyone to buy me anything, but you can look at my amazon wishlists and see what I'm interested in here:

Primary Wishlist (More for looking than for buying, as stuff can sit there for months or years…), Judaism Wishlist, New Age Wishlist, Tarot Wishlist, Origami Wishlist (extremely frivolous), ThinkGeek Wishlist, and J-List Wishlist.
1337, , american sign language, anhedonia, anthropology, anusim, apple computers, asexuality, ashkenazim, baby sign, bad puns, being a hobbit, being easily amused, being easily pleased, bi-co, blu greenberg, bmc, bryn mawr, bryn mawr college, chronic health problems, chronic illness, crochet, crypto-jews, davening, di-co, doublestar, embroidery, epiphanies, español, eva cassidy, frog!, fruity jews, frum, frumkeit, gene wilder, getting out of texas, good puns, haverford, haverford college, hayao miyazaki, hebrew, hightable, hispanic culture, hooded owl lanterns, incoherence, invisible illness, israel, jewish culture, jewish customs, jewish food, jewish holidays, jewish identity, jewish music, jewishness, judaism, karate, kashrut, keeping kosher, kenseido, kissing hank's ass, ladino, lanterns, lunix, mac os x, macintosh, macs, martial arts, mel brooks, midrash, mitzvos, mitzvot, modesty, mythology, needlepoint, negative reciprocity, orawnzva's music, owls, palindromes, procrastination, psas, puns, randomness, reading, robyn helzner's music, science fiction, search for identity, sefardim, self-defense, sephardim, shabbat, shabbos, shabbos koidesh, shiny things, shul, sign language, signing, silliness, singing, skirts with pockets, spanish, sparkly things, spoon theory, stamped cross stitch, stepsings, stuff, swarthmore, swarthmore college, swat, swil, talmud, tea, tefila, teshuva, the ferrett, theferrett, things, thinking too much, thinking way too much, torah, traditions, tri-co, two-tailed lizards, tzedakah, tznius, tzniut, wordplay, yiddish, yiddishkeit, π, אהבה, יהודים, ירושלים, ישראל, עברית, שבת, שלום, , , , , , , 拳正退,

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